By: S.A. Abraham
What would you change about yourself, and who would you like to become?
This may take some doing to examine and decide, but it is exactly the kind of process that gets you closer to your happiness and your goals.
Think about the way you process information. Perhaps your mind is filled, most of the time, with positive and uplifting thoughts that push you forward to your goals. Or perhaps, much of the time, your thoughts seem full of anxiety, uneasiness, or even mild depression.
Maybe you, along with many other people nowadays, seem simply to be going through the motions of life. Maybe you feel a sense of seeming to barely hang on,as if the next setback, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant, might be the last "straw" that pushes you over the edge.
Consider all the stress, responsibilities, and hardships people in today’s society go through on a daily basis to feed families, to make ends meet, and to appease those who constantly take and criticize. On top of that, we may not always get enough sleep and rest, and this can leave us exhausted and out of sorts, both physically and mentally.
When you live in such a frustrating physical and emotional state of turmoil, it can easily happen—you get angry, upset and “erupt” at the slightest provocation.
The culmination of this type of existence can be a life full of resentment and unspoken grudges—a life full of regrets, guilt, missed opportunities, and dwelling on the past. This can be accompanied by the same hurtful relationships, and can become part of an unfortunate cycle in which everything seems to continue going wrong.
If you are in the habit of worrying, obsessing, expecting the worst to happen, feeling irrational fears and insecurities, try asking yourself who you might have copied this behaviour from. Some adults, unfortunately, draw children into situations, conversations, and arguments far beyond a child’s capacity.
This can greatly affect the child into their adolescent and adult years. Try to get at and take note of the memories hidden behind the walls of your mind—the memories you rarely revisit. This can be a daunting task, but it can also be very rewarding.
After all, you might be tackling those experiences—no matter how small or trivial—that have had a lasting effect on your psyche, causing you to be super-sensitive to certain topics and situations that might not bother someone else. Consider getting to acknowledge and deal with such things instead of continuing to brush them under the carpet of your mind.
Again, this will be a process that takes time and determination—but it is a process that produces positive results. From personal experience, I have learned that the human brain and psyche can pace itself, in a way that works for you.
It also can be wise enough to let any information and memories that your mind has blocked for your own protection to stay where they are supposed to remain. Trust yourself in this and know that you can and should take a look at what is hiding in the corners of your mind.
Imagine placing your garbage bags in the shadows by the back door night after night, rather than taking them outside to be collected. Half-hidden, sometimes forgotten…and likely a smelly, cluttered, unhealthy situation. The same can be true in the memories you have hidden away but have never addressed—perhaps for many years.
This kind of situation might eventually lead to a lot of stress—ultimately even ulcers, disease, breakdowns and addictions.
You do have a choice: You can try to ignore the real issues holding you back, and tell yourself it’s not that big a deal. Or you can address, understand and begin to resolve them. Only you know if you’re managing your issues or if they are managing you. Denial and avoidance are often the way we react, but how helpful and productive is this?
To change is to first acknowledge. And yes, it can take maturity and courage to evaluate your past and the adult it has turned you into. And then, perhaps, you can gain some real insight that helps you see where you might need to make some changes and decide where you want to go from here.
At the same time, you can learn to accept your history and the things from your past that cannot be changed no matter how many times you might re-tell, regret, or replay them over and over in your mind. It is only our future actions and decisions which can be changed or chosen differently.
I wish you a much better future. I wish us all a much better future.
[Copyright: Excerpt from "The Keys That Open" by S.A. Abraham]
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